The Wait

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I just separated the laundry into piles, and ONCE AGAIN, I put several of my husband’s t-shirts in MY pile. Again. I thought I would be finished doing that a week or two ago.

Due date came. And went.

My mood yesterday was pretty crummy. Be thankful you didn’t run into me. I hid out most of the day actually. Today I’m in a much better mood, almost like I’ve accepted the fact that he’s never coming. He’s not actually real, and I’ve gained 30 pounds of cheeseburgers and chocolate chip cookies.

It’s the only time I’ve ever wanted to wake up in pain. But every night when I wake up and realize it’s after midnight, I know it’s not gonna happen.

Waiting stinks, especially when you expect something to happen by a certain time.

Forgive me for sounding whiny. I certainly have nothing to complain about, especially when so many have premature babies to worry about or they can’t have children at all. I am truly blessed; I know that.

Nevertheless, waiting is hard. Sometimes we wait for days, weeks, years for something to happen. We start to believe that it won’t happen. Anxiety sets in and tries to take over our mind.

No wise words coming from me today. This is simply my plea to you: pray for me. Pray for patience in the wait, and pray that I don’t let my emotions and hormones take over. It’s hard to stay level headed and calm in situations that feel out of our control. It’s hard not to let our anxiety shape our words and actions toward the people we love the most. It’s also hard to be nice to strangers, like the employee in the furniture store who shouted “Wow, you look downright MISERABLE!” He obviously hasn’t seen my post about things NOT to say to a pregnant woman.

If you have any wise words to help me stay patient and nice, I’d love to hear them. What do you do when you have to wait on something? It would be good for me to hear YOUR stories to get my mind off of growing stretch marks and worsening hip pain.

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8 Comments

  1. You probably remember my attempt at inducing my own labor. So my advice is, don’t do that!! Haha.
    Just remember that he will come in God’s timing. He already has this all worked out for you and you just relax in knowing that He knows best! 😉

    1. Thanks Jessica!! I remember that..it happened around the time my sister tried the same thing and got the same results :) I’m trying hard to be patient. I know it’ll be worth the wait!

  2. I am a inpatient person. As a child it was better not to tell me if we were going somewhere special. If it was an outdoor event, I would watch the weather. I would make sure the other kids said their prayers, it was all about the numbers. If we all prayed for the same thing, well God would have to hear those pleas. My second child was born in July 1983, very hot. The 15th came, I had company from out of town. I walked them to the garden. Trying hard not to show the contractions I was feeling. I did not do so well hiding. They begged to take me. The dad was at class I would wait. He came home at 10 pm. I had been in labor for five hours. We get about two miles out I explained I didn’t think the baby would wait. He said you should not have waited. If you have that baby in this car I will kill you. Strong words. I had the baby boy less than two hours. I hope you get a chuckle.and taken your mind off the waiting game.

  3. I’m praying for you, dear friend. When I have to wait, I turn to scriptures. Isaiah 40:31. Love to you and your family!

  4. Kristen, first of congratulations on another little boy! I have been a bit busy trying to figure out this whole being a mom and taking care of my little baby boy. Clark decided to come at 41 weeks and 1 day. I remember telling myself that only 5% of babies actually come on the due date. Well after 40 weeks and 3 days I felt exactly like you do now. I was never going to have my baby. I started taking walks during my 2 breaks and lunch at work and when I got home I would sit/sway around on my exercise ball. If something fell I was the one who wanted to squat down to pick it up. I wanted to do anything to help Clark….and we didn’t find out the gender so I couldn’t call him by his name lol. Sunday came and I was so overwhelmed and stressed. At the end of church I went to the front where the prayer people stood and asked them to pray for me,the baby and just the whole situation. (More like I sobbed no more than a few words into my request and Daniel had to tell the lady what I was saying!) After that, I still did my walks and exercise ball sways, but I stressed less and just tried to remind myself of things that I could do. I found 4-5 verses and put them up so I could see them every day at work. I just tried to think of things to do and focus on. I wanted to work all the way up to delivery to keep myself busy. I informed my boss that Friday the 29th would be my last work day. My dr wanted to induce me on May 4th if the baby didn’t come before then and I wanted to be able to rest and prepare myself mentally and emotionally for it (I whole-heartedly didn’t want to be induced). Well Thursday the 28th, I woke up like every other day feeling no different. I went to work, but I remember feeling stress free and happy. I don’t know if it was because tomorrow was my last day of work or what.? I had contractions all day at work, but they weren’t painful and so I did my daily walks and stayed at work. Came home and swayed on my ball, had dinner and watched The Voice. I had to use the bathroom, which is no biggie. :-) Except that my water broke on the way to the bathroom…and my Clark was born at 422am Friday April 29th. I had stopped worrying about when I was ever going to have my baby and just tried to stay positive, do what I could, and give the rest to God. I hope my pregnancy story helps to distract you and gives you hope, peace, and happiness! Best wishes and God bless!

    1. Eden, I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story! It IS so encouraging to hear stories from other people, especially when they are so like-minded with the way I want things to go..as natural as possible. I’m sending you a private message :)

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